If you've been reading this series, you know its about self-esteem; specifically women and their self-esteem (mine, that is). Well, for my final installment, I thought I'd cover a different angle. This blog is dedicated to men.
You may be asking, "Since when do men have self-esteem issues?" In my observations, from day one, just like women. The difference, I have found, is men are taught to pretend they are stronger from a young age. Correct me if I'm wrong, but men in their teens and twenties are conditioned to be our knight in shining armor, have bravado, and a larger-than-life ego. As women, we feed into their misconception until we marry. Then, over time, things change.
I have reconnected with a few men from high school and college, and all of them have self-esteem issues. They were all confident and appeared secure in who they were when we were young. Of course, I was not. Now, as I become more secure in who I am, I see the lack of confidence and insecurities in others around me. Men who I admired young are feeling unworthy of healthy relationships, like their lives lack meaning, that they aren't interesting, or that they are just trapped in unloving relationships. Sound familiar?
Seems we all have the same issues - feeling inadequate because our significant other told us we were or society did. So my advice to the men - look in the mirror and say, "I'm interesting and damn handsome!" You've been led to believe the lies all these years that you're just not up to par. Now it's time to believe the truth. If I can look in the mirror and tell myself I'm beautiful and sexy then you can be interesting and handsome!
As a naive kid who grew to become a know-it-all teen then into an immortal, fearless, testerone driven, thrill-seeking young man I can attest that ego is merely a bi-product. What self-respecting, red blooded, indestructible, American male wouldn't think highly of himself when on top of his game at say .. age 23. Aspirations are set and chased with little doubt they will be achieved and virtually no regard
ReplyDeletefor consequences. You have a full head of hair and dreams but no weight of the world and barely any hair on your chess. Surely the breakneck pace you have set for yourself will have you flaming out in spectacular fashion long before reality sets in... at least thats the hope. Sure I'll go into that burning building, what do I care. I am the only one among all you wousies that is young enough, strong enough and dumb enough to do it. And besides, I am trying to make a name for myself. Who wants to be the old crooner who dies of natural causes, when I can be the rock star that perishes in a fuselage - helo or fixed wing, no matter just so long as it hits hard. Is there life beyond 30? Well that is simply a very stupid question. Who cares, I won't see it.
Fast-forward. Goals are met and you are living the dream. You are a rock star of meteroric proportions. Untouchable. Surely the dream will not simply fade away? (see previous flame reference) For a time, you are secure. Everything is playing out as it should and you wait. Thoughts never go to what happens afterwards.
30 comes and goes. Chest hair grows as well as your gut. 34, 35. Disillusionment sets in. 36, 37. this is friggin work and you expect it everyday? 38, 39. A mortgage? Kids? Wait a minute, Don't you know who I am? 40!! Really? The dream recedes and so does the hairline. Young punks are jacking you for a parking space. Your knees and back start to hurt. 41,42. You hear yourself described as that old dude over there. 43, 44 .. What is the dream? What is the new dream? What could the new dream be? Where to look? Ah, there! lower. Down there.. No lower.. Right there .. Under your once proud chest, to the right of where your testerone landed and beneath your gut. There it is... You found it... Your self-esteem.